Keeping Up With the Jasons Shooting Draft
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Keeping Up With the Jasons
Written by: Jim Fisher & Jim Staahl
Directed by: Andrew Merrifield
Shooting Draft - May 18, 1998
Full Script - June 01, 1998
Pages 17-18-19 - June 09, 1998
Pacific Island Pictures, LTD, All Rights Reserved © 1998
Iolaus - (ee-OH-lus)
Cheiron - (KI-ron)
Hephaestus - (he-FESS-tuss)
Melotheum - (ME-LO-THEE-UM)
Midicus - (MID-I-CUSS)
Maximus - (MAX-I-MUS)
Cheiron's Academy - Dorm
Cheiron's Academy - Training Hall
Cheiron's Academy - Stables *
Cheiron's Academy - Clinic *
Hephaestus' Workshop Cave
Hephaestus' Test Area
Cheiron's Academy - Grounds
Cheiron's Academy - Stables *
Hephaestus' Workshop Cave
INT. KORA'S INN - DAY
KORA carries a large BUNDLE wrapped in LINEN past a raucous gang of LOCAL FARM BOYS and MAIDENS. MELOTHEUS, their leader, holds up his empty mug as Kora continues to the table where HERCULES, IOLAUS, LILITH and JASON are seated.
Drink up, guys. We're going to be late for drills.
Lilith. Relax. We have a few minutes. We're only young once.
She sets the bundle down in on the table.
Jason, this was left for you. Happy birthday.
Kora leaves. Hercules and Iolaus glance at each other.
I didn't know it was your birthday.
(to Hercules)Did you know it was his birthday?
I didn't know it was his birthday.
(facetiously slaps forehead)
Oh, it's a Corinthian surprise party - you surprise the guests.
Jason starts unwrapping the bundle.
So why didn't you tell us it was your birthday?
I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. I didn't want you guys getting me anything.
What kind of a present do you get a future king...?
Jason finishes unwrapping a beautiful SWORD and SHIELD.
Something like that.
Who's it from?
(reads from scroll)
My uncle. They were my father's. He broke the barbarian's siege with them.
Stellar. Pretty nice of your uncle to send them to you.
He knows how much I miss my father.
We all do.
But now it'll feel like he's still with me.
Melotheum holds up his empty mug as Kora once again glides past.
The only difference between us and those show-off cadets is their fancy weapons.
Iolaus examines the sword and shield.
These are definitely cool.
Too cool for academy wimps.
Standing over the table are Melotheum and the Locals.
Can we help you?
You're sitting at our table.
Sorry, we didn't see your name carved on it...
...that's assuming you can carve your name.
The CROWD reacts - "Oooooo".
You academy punks come in here and act like you own the place.
Kora glides pas carrying several mugs.
I own the place. So calm down, Melotheum. I don't have a gladiator license... yet.
Hey, they can stay, it'll just cost them that sword and shield.
Try to take them.
(to Melotheum, laying it on)Let me understand this. You'd be willing to fight over this table? I can see fighting over a kingdom...
Or fighting for a noble cause...
Or to stop outlaws...
But to fight for a table! That is something I would never think of. However, if you're so in love with this table, my friends and I will not keep you apart any longer. It's yours.
The CUSTOMERS "Oooooo" at Herc's put down. Melotheum sulks back to his buddies.
Besides, we've got to get back.
Go ahead, birthday boy, we've got the bill. We'll catch up to you.
Jason gathers up his weapons and exits. Herc drops some coins on the table. He gestures to Iolaus "pay up." Iolaus scowls.
EXT. KORA'S INN - CONTINUOUS - DAY
Jason ambles out of the inn with his bundle, counting his change. Melotheum and the locals rush outside and surround Jason.
I'll take that sword and shield now.
They close in on Jason and unsheathe their swords... it looks bad.
EXT. KORA'S INN - CONTINUOUS - A MOMENT LATER
The circle of Locals closes in on Jason. Jason unwraps his father's shield. Melotheum swings at Jason - Hercules grabs his arm from behind. Melotheum spins around and throws a punch at Herc. Defending himself, he leans backwards, dodges the punch, and uses Melotheum's momentum to send him crashing into the shield Jason holds aloft. Melotheum crumbles to his feet. The locals pick him up. They regroup for an attack. Jason holds his father's dazzling sword aloft. The Locals have second thoughts and retreat, carrying Melotheum with them.
I said, we wouldn't fight over a table... I didn't say we wouldn't defend ourselves.
(to Herc, nursing a sore nose)
You'll be sorry when my brother hears about this!
EXT. CHEIRON'S AVADEMY - GROUNDS - MORNING
Jason and his father's weapons are the center of the CADET'S attention. Herc watches nearby.
Wow. So this is the sword and shield you used to chase off Melotheum and his gang.
Iolaus takes the sword and shield to demonstrate.
All he did was hold them up like this... and off they ran.
There was more to it than that.
Cool. Jason running off Melotheum all by himself. Wish I could've seen it.
(under his breath)
CHEIRON intrudes on the gathering.
It is time to choose a Dacuuda. Follow me.
Hercules, Jason and Iolaus follow Cheiron and the other cadets.
(aside to Jason)
He's talkin' Centaur again. What's Dacuuda?
You never study do you?
Dacuuda... and award for the cadet demonstrating the highest ideals of the academy.
And those would be...?
Skill, honor, loyalty... the essence of a true warrior.
Which automatically leaves you out.
Cheiron stops at a corner of the grounds.
Lilith, Iolaus. The first test of skill - one-on-one combat.
Lilith and Iolaus face off. On Cheiron's signal, Lilith launches a ferocious attack that knocks Iolaus' shield from his hand. Her relentless assault pins Iolaus against a STACK of GRAIN SACKS. She swings. Iolaus grabs a sack of grain to use as a shield. Lilith's sword punctures the sack. Blinded by grain dust, she staggers backwards, dropping her sword and shield.
Why are you stopping?
I-I can't see.
Cheiron gently wipes at the debris around her eyes.
Lilith, you must be prepared for anything. You must learn to 'see' with other senses.
Iolaus joins Herc and Jason bringing a water bucket and a towel.
Smooth move, Iolaus.
Iolaus dips the towel in the water and dabs Lilith's eyes.
Sorry 'bout the dust, Lilith.
Next. Hercules, Jason.
Hercules and Jason take their positions. Cheiron signals and they clash. CLANG. THUNK. CLANG. THUNK. Hercules is on the verge of winning when a blow from Jason's sword BREAKS Herc's sword at the handle. Herc raises his shield to ward off a blow and the worn leather strap on the back snaps, sending it flying. It crashes on Iolaus' foot. The cadet's HOWL with laughter.
I guess, I-I... yield.
An embarrassed Herc drops the sword handle in the dirt as Iolaus hops over on his good foot.
Man, Herc, that was pathetic.
I was lucky. My dad's stuff made the difference.
The cadets surround Jason with congratulations.
'Local prince on his way to being Dacuuda!'
Yeah. With that sword and shield, nothing can stop you now.
Outside the circle around Jason, Hercules scoops up his broken equipment and walks away.
(to Jason and Lilith)
Where's he going?
EXT. HEPHAESTUS' WORKSHOP CAVE - DAY
Herc tentatively approaches a hidden cave entrance.
Hephaestus! Hephaestus, it's Hercules.
In the workshop!
INT. HEPHAESTUS' WORKSHOP CAVE - DAY
Hercules steps into a cave with all sorts of weaponry in various stages of completion hanging and lying about. Lit by the blazing flames of a HUGE FORGE is HEPHAESTUS. He gives one last blow to a RED-HOT BLADE on an ANVIL with a HUGE HAMMER, then holds it up for Hercules to see.
There. Fit for a god!
(eyes Hercules)What brings you here?
Hercules drops his broken weapons on a table.
Hephaestus examines them.
You don't have something better lying around that I could use?
Hephaestus leads Hercules to an IRON GATE with a huge LOCK.
Hephaestus opens the lock, then stops.
You know weapons aren't toys, right? You must treat them with respect.
Hephaestus swings open the gate.
INT. HEPHAESTUS' TEST AREA - DAY
Picture the Grecian equivalent of "Q's" workshop in a James Bond movie - several WORK BENCHES displaying a dazzling array of weapons fancier and more elaborate than the ones in the cave. There is also a test range with DUMMY WARRIORS and TARGETS.
My private collection...
Hephaestus heaves a GOLDEN JAVELIN that pierces on, two, three hanging targets until it finally lodges in the cave wall.
These are, way, way beyond...
What any mortal has ever seen? I know.
Hephaestus hands Hercules an elegant SWORD. He gets the feel of it, swinging, slashing...
Light... great balance...
My own special alloy. Three times stronger and twice as light as Phoenician iron.
(nods toward dummy warrior)Try it.
Hercules swings... slicing right through dummy's shield.
Hephaestus picks up a blinding, bright SHIELD.
Drop it. Trust me, let it go.
Hercules lets go of the sword. Instead of falling to the floor, it flies through the air and CLANKS against Hephaestus' shield.
(smiles, pleased, proud)
Trade secret. Magnetic metal. Watch this. Oh, better stand behind me.
Hephaestus pulls the sword off the shield and hands it to Herc. Hephaestus yanks a rope hanging from the ceiling - A FLAME shoots out from the cave wall. Hephaestus protects them both by using the shield to deflect the flame.
(shouts above ROAR)
Great for fighting dragons.
Or visiting Uncle Hades.
The flame stops.
How can I repay you?
You already have. You stuck by me when Hera kicked me out of Olympus.
I guess my step-mother didn't appreciate your skill with metal.
No. She'd rather have me make war like Ares.
Herc picks up a gilded MACE.
That's Hera for you... A mace?
That's what people are supposed to think. Hit that button on the handle.
Hercules does. SPROING. The SPIKED BALL at the end of the mace catapults across the room, hits the target, then ricochets off and careens around the room. Herc and Hephaestus duck as it lodges in the cave wall above their heads.
That one needs work.
INT. ACADEMY TRAINING HALL - DAY
The cadets are in a circle. Herc strides into the center with his new weapons. Everyone is impressed.
Wow. And I thought Jason's sword and shield were awesome.
Where'd you get that stuff?
Just something I found lying around a cave.
C'mon. You swipe 'em from a god?
Cheiron pushes into the group.
I see you've replaced your sword and shield. I trust you don't think being Dacuuda is about shiny weapons.
(claps for cadets' attention)A Dacuuda must learn to trust his or her senses. Hercules, Lilith. Blindfolds!
Hercules and Lilith don BLINDFOLDS. They stalk each other, intently listening for sounds that will give away their opponent. Lilith lunges and misses. Lilith swings again. Hercules parries. She flips Herc's sword out of his hand. Lilith hears it slide across the floor...
Lose something, Herc?
Then amazingly, the sword flies right back to Herc's shield. CLANK. The cadets react in amazement.
As Lilith swings yet again, Herc blocks her with his sword, then knocks her down with a blow to her shield.
(pulling off her blindfold)How'd you do that? I heard your sword hit the floor!
I'm not giving away my secrets.
INT. ACADEMY TRAINING HALL - DAY
Iolaus and the cadets watch as Hercules, with his new sword and shield, duels Jason on the balance beam. Another close fight.
The Dacuuda is adept at one-to-one combat under any circumstances.
Jason battles the glare of Herc's shield. Herc swings, Jason blocks it. THWANG. Jason's sword is cut in two! Jason stares at the broken blade. Silence. Everyone is stunned. Finally:
My father's sword.
I didn't mean to...
You busted it!
(to Hercules, angrily)
Admit it. You can't stand that I got a gift from my father. You're jealous.
No, no. It's this new sword.
Jason gives Herc a nasty look, then storms off. Iolaus and the cadets crowd Herc.
Man, this sword is hot. If it were mine, I'd mop the floor with all of you.
Iolaus swings it. SWISH. THUNK. He cuts through a support beam. CRASH. Part of the storage loft crumbles to the floor.
Watch it! This isn't a toy.
Hercules crabs the sword away from Iolaus.
INT. KORA'S INN - DAY
Hercules, Iolaus, Jason, Lilith sit at a table with food, drink.
(playing the peacemaker)
C'mon, guys, you're not going to stay mad at each other?
She's right. Food's on me.
I'm not feeling that hungry.
Great. More for me.
(shaking her head)
Iolaus, your lack of sensitivity is amazing.
Herc takes his shiny sword and shield from beside his chair and puts them in front of Jason.
Here. I broke yours. Take them. It's only fair.
I can't take them.
Jason gets up and walks away angrily.
Heads turn. CUSTOMERS scurry for cover. MIDICUS fills the doorway. Melotheum hides behind his bigger brother. In back are the rest of the Locals. On Herc's concerned expression, we:
INT. KORA'S INN - A MOMENT LATER
Kora's customers have cleared the area, leaving only Midicus, Melotheum and the Locals facing Hercules, Iolaus and Lilith.
I didn't want to fight your brother and I don't want to fight you.
What's with this family?
I heard about you cadets and your fancy weapons, and since you say you don't want to fight, you won't be needing yours.
Yeah, the last thing the world needs is for them to fall into the hands of some big, dumb lummox...
(sees Midicus angry reaction)Oops.
Midicus lunges for the weapons. Herc is quicker. He grabs them up. Midicus draws his sword. They square off.
It's just you and me, academy wimp!
(to Iolaus and Lilith)Stay out of this. I brought this on myself.
Midicus charges Herc from behind. Herc sees his reflection in the polished shield and whips around to thwart the sneak-attack. They exchange several blows. Then, with a mighty swing of his super sword, Herc cleaves Midicus' shield in half.
Had enough? Do you yield?
Is this what they call a fair fight back at the academy?
Herc flips away his super shield. Melotheum quickly scoops it up and tosses it to Midicus.
That was too easy.
The Locals HOWL with glee. Now it's a touch-and-go fight. Herc slashes at the shield, but nothing happens. Not only won't the sword cut the shield, but it's drawn to it! Hercules struggles to control the sword while fighting the bright glare of the shield. Clearly on the defensive, Herc up-ends a table and leaps behind it - just as Midicus' sword slashes down into it.
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
Midicus lunges at Herc, but Herc manages to keep the table between him and the slashing Midicus. Herc, being beaten back, looks at his sword, grabs it, and throws it away, across the room. Midicus, frowns, wondering why Herc did it.
But I'm over here.
The sword stops in MID-AIR, then starts back toward the fighters. Herc, with a GRUNT and a show of strength, tosses the table into the air. The speeding sword impales the table and carries it off. Midicus looks with growing concern, as: The table, with the sword sticking out through it, flies toward him (CAMERA), knocking other furniture from its path. People dodge as they're hit by flying chairs and small tables. Midicus is pinned against the wall by the flying, sword-propelled table. Iolaus steps up to Herc.
Sure turned the tables on Midicus.
The Locals pry the table off of Midicus, who slumps into their arms. They quickly drag him away. Then Herc and Iolaus react to:
Herc and Iolaus turn and are shocked to see: Jason and Kora pulling the corner of the table off of Lilith's head (BS&P: bruises, no blood.)
Someone get her some water!
Hercules and Iolaus hurry to help.
Is she alright?!
Jason pushes him aside.
Haven't you done enough?
Lilith COUGHS, blinks her eyes and grimaces.
Iolaus waves his hands in front of her face. No response. Kora looks at Herc with disgust:
Boys and their toys. See what happens? Innocent people get hurt.
INT. ACADEMY - CLINIC - DAY
Lilith sits on a stool as Cheiron applies a poultice to her eyes and wraps it with cloth.
Guess I'll be getting lots of practice in the blind drill.
What you need is rest.
Cheiron steps away from Lilith to Hercules.
Only time will tell if her eyesight is to return.
INT. HEPHAESTUS' WORKSHOP CAVE - DAY
Hercules and Hephaestus stand near the fiery forge.
Lilith can't see. Jason hates me. Iolaus doesn't want me around.
I know how it feels not to be liked.
I wanted to be the best. Jason had new weapons, I wanted better ones.
Herc offers Hephaestus the weapons.
Here. Take them back. All they bring is trouble.
In that case, I don't want them either!
Hephaestus tosses the sword and shield into the fiery hot forge. There is a burst of flame!
EXT. ACADEMY - STABLES - DAY
Hercules walks his horse into the stable. He finds himself face-to-face with Locals led by Melotheum, Midicus, and their biggest and strongest brother, MAXIMUS!
Is this the punk?
Melotheum and Midicus nod "yeah, that's the guy".
So you're the big shot cadet with the fancy weapons who picked on my two little brothers.
I don't know what your brothers told you, but I didn't want to fight them... and I don't want to fight you.
In that case, just give me those fancy weapons and we'll call it even.
I don't have them.
I say we start whomping on him and he'll get them fast enough.
If he doesn't have them, why don't we just go home.
Hey! It's about respect. If Pa taught us one thing, it's never back down to no cadet...
(grins)...'specially, when he ain't got no weapons.
Iolaus and Jason enter and join Herc, both ready for action:
Hercules! Your new friends don't look happy. What's the problem?
No problem. I was just telling them I don't have my weapons anymore.
Where'd you hide 'em?
I destroyed them.
Now we have a problem.
The armed Bad Guys (Melotheum, Midicus, Maximus and the Locals) attack. Our three guys look like they're in trouble until Maximus is taken out (no head blows) by - a walking stick.
Sounds like you cadets could use a hand.
Working as a team, Herc, Jason, Iolaus, and Lilith rely on the skills they've learned in training sessions - gymnastic flips and tumbles - to subdue and disarm their opponents. They use what is at hand: a WOODEN RAKE; ROPE; BRIDLE; HORSESHOES; SADDLE; HAY BUNDLES - as weapons.
Not to mention, flipping someone into the TROUGH or subduing someone by dropping a HARNESS over them. A sword-wielding Local attacks Iolaus. He grabs a sack of grain for defense. The Local cuts into it - getting blinded by the grain dust. Iolaus kicks him into a pile of horse droppings.
And they say kids don't learn things in school.
At the same time, Lilith relies on her hearing to react. Melotheum and Maximus close in on her from either side. They lunge, she ducks. They knock each other to the ground. Then she uses her walking stick like a staff, deflecting blows, tripping opponents and even flipping them over her head. When the dust settles only Herc, Jason, Iolaus and Lilith are standing.
Now do you believe me? I got rid of the weapons.
The locals and brothers drag themselves off with their tails between their legs past Cheiron.
I told you we should have gone home.
What are we gonna tell Pa?
Are we in trouble?
It seems you had no choice but to fight...
And you were unarmed and outnumbered when it started...
(they agree)There's no need for the final test of skill.
So did you choose the Dacuuda?
You chose for me.
The cadets look at each other. He hands Lilith a LAUREL WREATH.
All exhibited skill, honor, and loyalty... but Lilith learned a warrior's strength comes from within.
I did. How?
When you saw without your eyes.
The cadets congratulate Lilith.
INT. ACADEMY - DORM - DAY
Herc, carrying a bundle, Iolaus and Lilith approach Jason.
We finally found something... worthy of a future king.
Herc holds out the bundle to Jason. He unwraps it to reveal...
My father's sword. You fixed it?
Actually, Hephaestus did.
Guys... what can I say?
That you'll put it away in a safe place where we won't get tempted to show off with it.
Mind if I give it a try before you put it away?
Cheiron and Lilith, without her walking stick, approach them.
Your eyes... you can see! Cheiron, you're a master.
This calls for a celebration. Who's for Kora's?
Just one thing...
If someone wants that fancy belt of yours - just give it to them.
Jason looks at his belt, then they all share a laugh.