Golden Bow Transcript (Dialogue Only)
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This is a transcript of the dialogue of the episode Golden Bow, as aired, transcribed by Bryn.
Head Priest of Apollo: The golden bow of Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt. Centuries ago passed down from Olympus, it has remained in our temple, protected from those who would misuse it. But now the Oracle has commanded this contest, with the golden bow as the prize for the finest archer in the land. Only three contestants remain. Your Highness.
Jason: The city of Corinth welcomes our honored guests! Let's hear it for the contestants!
Jason: For the final round, the archers will shoot at a moving target.
Hercules: Do you know who that woman in the mask is? Don't look, don't look! I swear that I've seen her before. Don't look!
Rytus: Strife! I'm no good with moving targets. You said you'd help me win the bow.
Strife: Eh. I'm not one of those two-faced gods! Worship my back, I'll scratch yours. Ha ha, hee, ha ha ha... Now, just between you and me I'm poised to become the next major god. And I need a following... you follow me? Ha ha ha...
Rytus: Just give me an arrow. I've got the first shot.
Strife: Hmm... I'm all a-quiver.
Jason: Our first contestant is Rytus! He's a warlord from Perachora.
Hercules: Did you see that?
Jason: Yeah. Nice shot.
Hercules: No, the-the target stopped. Didn't you see that? The-the big flash?
Jason: I didn't see anything! Now come on, you get in there and you show them how we do it in the Academy, okay? Come on, big shooter, get in there.
Hercules: But... there was a flash...
Jason: Come on. Come on! Next up, Hercules, representing Cheiron's Academy. Let's hear it!
Hercules: Hey! Hey, something made it turn!
Rytus: Try aiming at the target, boy!
Hercules: I did, guy, but something - or somebody - interfered with my arrow.
Rytus: Nobody calls Rytus a cheat.
Jason: No no no no no! No trouble! No trouble!
Rytus: What are you talking about?!
Jason: No trouble!
Rytus: He's not going to come here and insult me! He called me a cheat!
The Nameless Archer: Don't, Hercules.
Hercules: Kora? What are you doing here?
The Nameless Archer: Shhh.
Hercules: Listen. Something weird is going on here, okay? My arrow should have hit that target dead center.
Jason: Hercules. Look, I believe you. But if no one else saw it, what can I do? The last contestant shooting for the golden bow has chosen to compete without a name. Hey, uh, you know, she does look familiar.
Hercules: Don't look!
Strife: I'll have some fun with this one. Ahhh! Who's the jerk ayyyyy... Artemis! What a nice surprise. You look great. Working out?
Artemis: The woman archer is one of my followers. Don't interfere with her.
Strife: Interfere? Why would I do that? Uh, y'know, you gotta teach me how to recognize them. Is there like, uh, a secret handshake or something? Y'know, hey, what's up?
Hercules: Oh, come on. Tell me you didn't see that, huh?
Jason: I didn't see that.
Hercules:Wha? Come on, the arrow moved! Something moved it!
Jason: Hercules, I was really watching that time, and I didn't see anything.
Hercules:All right. If nobody else can see it than me, then uh, then what? Then uh... There's gotta be a god involved.
Head Priest of Apollo: As the oracle commands, I present the golden bow of Artemis to the winner of the contest.
Strife: When I saw you in the archery contest, I couldn't help but notice your, um... form!
Kora: Who are you?
Strife: Ah ha ha ha! Let's just say I'm, um... a secret admirer. I need something to remember you by, like um... THAT GORGEOUS BOW!
Kora: Maybe you'd like to try and take it?
Strife: I think they would!
Rytus: Get the bow!
Hercules: Kora! Hang on!
Rytus: I've got the bow! Come on!
Hercules: You, uh, you had the bow.
Rytus: Get in there!
Rytus: Strife's got the bow! Come on! Let's get out of here!
Kora: No! I need that bow!
Hercules: Wait. Listen. You can't just go running after Strife like that, all right? He's a lot more dangerous than he looks.
Kora: I need that bow. There's someone I have to give it to.
Hercules: Let me guess. A god?
Kora: Yes. Artemis. I've pledged my life to her.
Hercules: You pledged your life to her? Why would you do something like that?
Kora: She once saved my life. But I had to give her something in return. Haven't you ever wondered why I'm so hard on you and the guys?
Hercules: Well, I just always figured it was 'cause you didn't like me-us.
Kora: As long as I serve Artemis, I can never have a normal life. I can't make friends, Hercules, I don't dare. I-If it turned into something more... I can never let myself fall in love.
Hercules: You can never fall in love?
Kora: But the thing is, if I get Artemis the golden bow, she's promised to release me from my vows.
Hercules: Kora, you can't handle Strife, Rytus, and his men all alone.
Kora: Well, I'm gonna have to try!
Hercules: Okay, listen, you're gonna need help with Strife, all right? Now, I can handle him. I've done it before.
Kora: Oh! So, where you gonna find him? You know, I can track Rytus no matter where he goes in these woods. Can you?
Hercules: Oh. Excuse me.
Kora: Artemis! I call on you for the spirit of the Huntress!
Hercules: Wow. I didn't know that being a follow of Artemis was so, uh... you know, that it changed you so much. Is that paint on your face?
The Huntress: If a man touches a follower of Artemis, he must pay with his life.
Hercules: Okay. No touching. I got it. Shake on it? Just kiddin'.
The Huntress: This way.
Hercules: You sure we're tracking Rytus and his gang? 'Cause, uh, I don't see any trail.
The Huntress: You see how that bird flies?
Hercules: He flaps his wings?
The Huntress: I see its fear. There's someone in the mouth of that cave, a guard.
Hercules: Well, let's go get 'em, all right?
The Huntress: Wait. I'll draw the guard out. [bird call]
Strife: The fact of the matter is, gentlemen, is that Ares is a has-been. It's time to move over. I'm going to take over, so I need a plan! A business plan! And uh... We can merchandise the whole thing. Official statues. A line of Strife follower clothing. Eternal flames - always a hot item! Ha ha ha... okay! But first. I need somebody to build a temple... to me. Three, four... any volunteers? Come on, come on. Heh?
Hercules: We can't get to the bow without being seen.
The Huntress: I can.
Hercules: Hey Kora. Kor-Kora? Ahhh!
Strife: Let's go over this once more from the top, shall we? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought we had an agreement. You get the bow, I get you! Am I right, or am I... Rytus? Ha ha ha...
Rytus: We're not leaving this cave.
Strife: A cave sanctuary. I can dig it. That's really happenin'. That's cool! We can have a statue of me here, tripods here...
Rytus: Forget it, Strife. We don't need to be your followers. Now I've got the golden bow. Heh heh heh...
Strife: Listen, Rytus. We had a deal. And a deal with Strife is a deal for life! Ooh, I like that! Somebody write that down! Anybody here know how to write? You?
Hercules: Kora? Kora? Oh! What next?
The Huntress: Give me that. Great Artemis. I call upon you to receive this gift. Your sacred bow, returned to you so that my life can be returned to me, as promised.
Artemis: You have served me well, Huntress. Your request is just. I offer a warning. To leave me service is not a casual request. Are you certain that you no longer need my help?
The Huntress: I am certain, Mistress.
Artemis: Then, let it be so.
Hercules: It worked! You're free!
Kora: I can't believe it! Oh, thank you Hercules!
Hercules: My pleasure.
Rytus: Where's my bow?!
Strife: I'm sorry to interrupt. I didn't realize you two were so close!
Hercules: Let's get out of here. Now!
Strife: Not so fa-ast.
Rytus: You didn't answer my question.
Hercules: The bow is with Artemis, where it belongs, all right? If you touch her... you'll regret it.
Rytus and Strife: Ha ha ha ha ha.... Destroy them!
Strife: I just love to watch you suffer. Call it a... weakness.
Hercules: Well, it's a weakness all right.
Rytus: You crossed me, girl. Now I'm gonna make sure I'm the last thing you ever see.
Hercules: I told you you'd regret it.
Kora: Thank you.
Hercules: No problem.
Strife: [Tsks] You forgot to call time out so you could chat with your girlfriend!
Strife: Hurt much? Good.
Kora: Hercules... need to help... I can't help you...
Strife: I wonder if we can separate the part that's god from the part that's, uh... mortal.
Rytus: My pleasure!
Kora: Artemis! I was wrong, I need you! Please take me back! Give me the power of the Huntress!
Rytus: It's the Huntress! Run for your lives!
Strife: Hey! Hey, you guys, come back! You got a job to do, here!
The Huntress: I serve the will of Artemis.
Strife: So... Artemis got her bow back. Well, that's great. Uh, just so long as she knows that I did everything I could... to help. Heh heh heh...
Kora: Are you all right?
Hercules: Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Thanks to you. I can't believe that you did that for me.
Kora: Well, don't flatter yourself. I need Artemis more than I thought.
Kora: You want a hand?
Hercules: Maybe Artemis will lighten up. I mean, she got her golden bow back, right? Ohhh... Hey, uh, listen. Can you do that shiny Huntress thing again? Or is that just for tracking?
Hercules: I'll make you a deal. If you don't, I'm gonna tell the guys that you hugged me. I will. Oh, and again!