Forgery Shooting Draft

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Forgery

Episode #16
Production #V0816

Written by: Mark Edens

Directed by: Andrew Merrifield

Shooting Draft - June 18, 1998
Pages 7, 9-10, 12, 15-15A, 22-23-24 - June 01, 1998
Pages 9-9A - June 02, 1998
Pages 2, 4, 22-23-24 - June 09, 1998
Page 8 - June 10, 1998

Pacific Island Pictures, LTD, All Rights Reserved © 1998

Cast List

Hercules
Jason
Iolaus - (ee-OH-lus)
Cheiron - (KI-ron)
Kora
Hephaestus - (he-FESS-tuss)
Lilith
Corinth Girl #1
Corinth Girl #2
Chariot Driver
Chorus
Tavern Maid (Non-speaking)
+ Band of Three Bored Musicians (Non-speaking) *

(missing Set List)

Teaser

FADE IN:

EXT. KORA'S INN - DAY

A MAN ON HORSEBACK is picking up some food to go at the inn's drive-in window. KORA hands him a meal in a sack.

KORA
Enjoy your meal. Have a nice day.

The man rides away. Looking out through the window, we see the next customer "drive" up: IOLAUS.

KORA
Take your order?
IOLAUS
How about taking the day off instead? We're going to Corinth to have some fun -- why don't you come along?

Kora leans out the window and sees Iolaus' "horse": he's riding on a plank carried on the shoulders of HERCULES and JASON.

KORA
I bet all three of you wanted to be the horse's rear end.

Hercules and Jason dump Iolaus off the plank.

JASON
Come with us, Kora -- we'll have a great time. Even Hercules is gonna have fun, if he remembers how.
HERCULES
Hey, I'm not going. I told you, I have to help Hephaestus today.
JASON
He's a god, Herc -- he can help himself.
HERCULES
He's my half-brother, and I promised to give him a hand.
KORA
Too bad Hercules won't be along to chaperone. If he was, I would've gone.

Kora moves away from the window, disappearing.

IOLAUS
Way to go, Herc. Couldn't you at least let her think you were going?
HERCULES
She wasn't going to go --
IOLAUS
If you're ever on fire, Jason, just wrap Hercules around you.
(in Hercules' face)
Wet blanket.
HERCULES
I am not.
JASON
You're not exactly the life of the party.

A horn blows, interrupting. They turn and see a chariot waiting behind them, with a gruff, tough, grizzled old CHARIOT DRIVER blowing on a hunting horn.

CHARIOT DRIVER
Move it, you pups -- make way! Doesn't that four-legged freak Cheiron teach you little boys manners?
JASON
(a challenge)
Maybe you'd like to try to teach us a lesson?

The chariot driver grabs the handle of his sword.

CHARIOT DRIVER
Nice people take turns.
(pulls sword most of the way out of scabbard)
Who wants to go first?
HERCULES
Come on, guys -- let's get outta here.

Hercules hauls Jason and Iolaus away, around the corner of the building. The Chariot Driver drives up to the window. Kora appears.

KORA
Can I take your order?

Iolaus slips along the wall of the inn, to the corner behind the chariot, carrying a rope. Jason and Hercules follow him, curious.

IOLAUS
That loud-mouth said we were little boys. So let's play.
HERCULES
What are you doing?
IOLAUS
I'm gonna take that bully's wheels right out from under him.
(he gives Hercules one end of the rope)
Here -- tie this to a tree.

Paying rope out behind him, Iolaus slips around the corner of the buildings and creeps toward the back of the chariot. He ties the rope to the back of the chariot. Then he slips away. Kora appears in the window and gives the Chariot Driver a sack.

KORA
Enjoy your meal. Have a nice day.

Jason and Hercules are waiting around the corner. Hercules is still holding the end of the rope.

IOLAUS
You didn't tie the rope to anything!
HERCULES
I'm not going to do that.

Iolaus snatches the rope from Hercules' hand

IOLAUS
You afraid it might be fun?

Jason looks and sees the Chariot Driver reach for his horse whip to get his chariot moving. Jason frowns at Iolaus (holding rope.)

JASON
Uh, Iolaus...

But Iolaus is going on at Herc and not hearing Jason.

IOLAUS
That big lump pulled his sword on us! You afraid to pay him back?

The Chariot Driver whips his horses, and the chariot takes off.

JASON
Iolaus...

Iolaus, still confrontational, finally turns to Jason.

IOLAUS
What?!

The rope jerks taut. Iolaus is yanked off his feet and dragged away, yelping with surprise. Hercules and Jason give each other a quick look, then speed off after him.

HERCULES
(calling)
Iolaus!

FADE OUT.

Act One

FADE IN:

EXT. WOODS - DAY

Hercules and Jason are looking around for Iolaus.

HERCULES
Iolaus!
JASON
How far do you think he got before he remembered to let go of the rope?

They hear a GROAN nearby.

HERCULES
About that far.

They help Iolaus out of some bushes.

IOLAUS
If you'd tied the rope to a tree like I told you, this wouldn't have happened.
HERCULES
Yeah -- and you would've wrecked that guy's chariot, just because you didn't like the way he talked to us!
JASON
I bet he'd be more polite next time.
IOLAUS
It was a trick, Herc -- a joke. Where's your sense of humor?
HERCULES
You can't do whatever you want, just because it's fun.
IOLAUS
It's an approach to life. Try it some time.
HERCULES
Why don't you try being responsible?
JASON
(to Hercules)
Why don't you lighten up? Let's have some fun, while we're still young.
IOLAUS
I'm not going to change when I get old. I'll still be having fun when I'm thirty.
JASON
If we don't get moving, we'll be thirty before we get to Corinth.
(to Hercules)
Last chance to come with us.
HERCULES
I promised Hephaestus I'd help him.
IOLAUS
(sarcastically)
Have fun.

Iolaus laughs as he and Jason head off down the road to Corinth. Hercules watches them for a moment, wistfully: part of him would like to be as carefree as Iolaus. He signs, then turns and walks away, following his own path.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. VOLCANO - DAY

Smoke rises from a smoldering volcanic peak. Sounds of a HAMMER SMITING METAL.

INT. CAVE - DAY

HEPHAESTUS works beside a forge fed by a fire issuing from a fissure in the floor of the cave. Sparks fly as he pounds a sword blade with a hammer, shaping it over an anvil. Hercules works beside him, pumping a bellows to make the fire hotter.

HERCULES
Do you think I'm dull, Hephaestus?
HEPHAESTUS
We can't all be exciting.

Hercules stops pumping: it's clear that Hephaestus does think he's dull. Hephaestus talks as he works: he strikes the blade, turns it, strikes again, slowly, unhurriedly.

HEPHAESTUS
You and I are the same. We're like hammers. Heavy. Strong. Reliable.
HERCULES
And dull.
HEPHAESTUS
(pausing in his work)
Some people have a fire inside them. They take everything life has to offer -- devour it like a flame burns wood.
(he looks at Hercules)
Zeus is like that.
HERCULES
(curious)
Really?!
(thinks about it)
Maybe that's why he's never shown any interest in me. Because we're so different.

Hephaestus grunts noncommittally and goes back to work.

HERCULES
Maybe he'd notice me if I were more like him... What if that's how he wants us to be?

Hephaestus thrusts the blade into the flames.

HEPHAESTUS
I tried to change once. This fire here -- it comes straight from the heart of the Earth. It can melt you inside. Make you new. I asked it to come into my heart and make me a warrior, like Hera wanted me to be.
HERCULES
Did it work?
HEPHAESTUS
I didn't like it. Couldn't get any work done.

Hephaestus thrusts the blade into a barrel of water: steam HISSES as the metal cools, tempers.

HEPHAESTUS
Always work to do. Poseidon wants me to make him an anchor. You'd think he'd have enough of those already.

Hephaestus sets the blade aside -- it's done -- and limps away.

HEPHAESTUS
I've got some pig iron around here somewhere. If I can remember where I put it. Here, pig, pig, pig, pig.

Hephaestus wanders off, looking for his missing iron. Hercules' eyes are drawn to the fire in the forge.

HERCULES
I want to change. I want to be the son my father wants.

He begins pumping the bellows. The flames shoot up, higher and higher.

HERCULES
I want to devour life, like Zeus -- like there's a fire inside me.

The firelight gleams in his eyes, brightly, eerily. He stares into the fire as if in a trance. Suddenly the fire leaps out of the forge and swirls around him...

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. A CORINTH INN - DAY

A hearth fire in the inn. A BAND OF THREE BORED MUSICIANS plays on in the b.g. At a nearby table, Jason and Iolaus sit with two CORINTH GIRLS, dressed-up sophisticated teenagers from the "big city". The Girls are giving all their attention to Jason, much to the annoyance of Iolaus. One Girl puts her hand on Jason's forearm.

CORINTH GIRL #1
I’ve always wanted to work in the palace.

Jealous, Iolaus looks at the other Girl.

IOLAUS
You know, I might be a king some day.
CORINTH GIRL #2
Oh, yeah? Where?
IOLAUS
I'm still looking for the right kingdom.
CORINTH GIRL #2
Let me know when you find it.

The Girl turns back to Jason, turning her back on Iolaus. Suddenly someone bursts through the door of the inn. It's Hercules -- a fiery-eyed, exaggeratedly "up" version of Hercules.

HERCULES
Is it hit in here, or is it just me?!
JASON
Hercules!

A TAVERN MAID carrying a heavy tray of dishes, walks by Herc, he deftly lifts them from her hands. She reacts with surprise, pleased.

HERCULES
(small bow; all charm)
Allow me. No one so beautiful should work so hard.

The Tavern Maid blanches, smiles coyly.

JASON
(to Iolaus)
What's gotten into him?

In a deft move, Hercules spins to the end of the counter, placing the full tray on the end and sliding it fast towards the other end -- where a surprised BUS BOY catches it. Hercules turns and walks over to Jason and Iolaus' table.

IOLAUS
What are you doing here, Herc?
JASON
What about Hephaestus?
HERCULES
Hephaestus! He's no fun!

Hercules eases between the two GIRLS, a hand gently on each one's cheek.

HERCULES
Why would I waste time with a god, when I can come here and meet goddesses?

He makes a deft move, gently picking up the Corinth Girl #2 by her hand and dance-spinning her into his arms, into a clinch. She squeals, surprised, but she likes it.

HERCULES
Thanks for keeping my chair warm.

He spins her back, gently dropping her onto Iolaus' knee.

HERCULES
Now keep Iolaus warm. He's a big hero - the champion of Cheiron's Academy!

The girl looks at Iolaus with surprise.

CORINTH GIRL #2
I thought you were lying about that.

Hercules bursts out laughing and sits in the empty chair where Corinth Girl #2 had been sitting.

JASON
Are you all right, Herc? You seem different all of a sudden.
HERCULES
I am different! I'm ready to set the world on fire!

Hercules grabs a joint of meat in each hand from the plates of Jason and Iolaus and holds them up in the air.

HERCULES
Food for everybody!

The whole room cheers. Hercules tosses a joint of meat across the room: a Customer eagerly catches it on his empty plate. But now the meat is black, scorched, smoldering. The customer looks puzzled.

EXT. KORA'S INN - NIGHT

The inn is closed. Sounds of off-key singing, a whoop, laughter. Hercules, Jason, and Iolaus are returning from Corinth, followed by a "CHORUS" of Herc's new friends, including at least one of the Musicians from Corinth, still playing. Iolaus wears a Carmen Miranda hat, like a basket of fruit on his head. Hercules is riding on Jason's shoulders; Herc is wearing snake skin and playing the maracas. Jason is staggering.

JASON
I give up, Herc! You win!
HERCULES
No! I said all the way to Kora's Inn! Come on -- you can do it!
IOLAUS
If he makes it, I'll eat my hat!
HERCULES & THE CHORUS
(chanting)
Go! Go! Go! Go!

INT. KORA'S INN - NIGHT

Kora is finishing shutting down for the night. She hears the CHANTING and pauses, frowning.

KORA
Who's out there this late?

The front door bursts open as Jason, with Herc still on his shoulders, collapses to the floor, both guys sprawling:

HERCULES
You did it!

Iolaus steps in right behind them. He looks down at the two of them on the floor, whooping in triumph, then looks sadly at his hat.

IOLAUS
(groaning)
I don't think I can eat this hat.

Herc and Jason stumble to their feet as their "Chorus" stumbles into the inn.

HERCULES
That's all right -- I'll eat it.
IOLAUS
Hey, Jason -- you wanna bet me he can't?
JASON
Not after what he did with that ox!

A LOUD BURP from Hercules, followed by more laughter. Hercules gets to his feet, juggling fruit.

HERCULES
You should've come to Corinth with us, Kora!

He tosses the fruit to the Chorus, except one apple, which he tries to devour with a single bite.

HERCULES
(with his mouth full)
You missed all the fun!

Kora is on the other side of the bar area, wiping it off.

KORA
I'll try to go on living.

Hercules leaps onto the bar, drops to his knees, close to her, and cradles her face in his hands, as if preparing for a kiss.

HERCULES
Let's go back to Corinth -- right now!
KORA
Let's not.

Kora gives Herc a shove. He flips back off of the bar and deftly lands on his feet, grinning.

HERCULES
I like 'em sassy!
JASON
Hercules!
CHORUS
(chanting)
Go! Go! Go! Go!

Jason and Iolaus step up to Herc.

IOLAUS
Wait a minute, Herc!
JASON
You're getting carried away.
HERCULES
No -- she is!

Hercules laughs and lunges for Kora, but she grabs his wrists and tries to shut him down, trying to be serious.

KORA
What's the matter with you?! It's like it's not you anymore!
HERCULES
Maybe I decided to be somebody else!
KORA
Yeah? Well, try being somewhere else!

She shoves him away.

HERCULES
There's plenty of girls in Corinth! Come on -- let's go!
JASON
Are you crazy? We just came from Corinth.
IOLAUS
We've got a work-out at the academy in a couple hours.
HERCULES
Wet blankets! You forget how to have fun?!
JASON
Come on, Herc -- we've been up all night.
IOLAUS
We've had enough fun.

They start to walk past him toward the open door. Hercules grabs them and shoves them back, rough-housing. They don't like it.

HERCULES
You can never have enough fun!
(to the chorus)
Right, guys?!
CHORUS
(chanting)
Go! Go! Go! Go!
IOLAUS
I'm going to bed.

He starts past again, toward the door. Hercules grabs him, but Iolaus jerks free, angrily, and walks on.

JASON
What's wrong with you?

Jason walks away, following Iolaus. Hercules stares after them.

HERCULES
There's nothing wrong with me! I'm exactly who I wanna be!

Perspiration gleams on his flushed skin, he's panting for breath, and firelight gleams in his eyes -- though there is no fire.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CHEIRON'S ACADEMY - NIGHT

Establishing. The dark buildings, the sleeping dormitory.

INT. ACADEMY DORM - CONTINUOUS

Hercules tosses and turns on his bunk, eyes closed, feverish, drenched in sweat, trying to sleep. A flame appears bursting from his fingers, but he doesn't wake up. He moves restlessly, and his hand touches the mattress. Suddenly the flame spreads -- Hercules' bunk is enveloped in swirling flames.

FADE OUT.

Act Two

FADE IN:

INT. ACADEMY DORM - CONTINUOUS

LILITH wakes up as smoke swirls near her.

LILITH
(realizing; alarmed)
Fire?

She leaps/stumbles out of bed, holding her blanket, and is amazed to see a mattress (Herc's) engulfed in flames. As she beats down the fire with her blanket, we realize (but she doesn't see) that there is a silent figure standing off to the side, watching.

LILITH
(exertion)
Somebody get some water.

The figure is Hercules. He's motionless, in a kind of trance, his eyes red, gleaming feverish in the firelight.

LILITH
(yells)
Isn't anybody awake?!

Hercules suddenly snaps out of it. He sees Lilith finishing beating out the mattress and steps over to help.

HERCULES
Uh, thanks, Lilith!
(grabs smoking mattress)
I don't know how it got started.
LILITH
Where were you?
HERCULES
Looking for a water bucket. Hungry?
LILITH
Huh?

INT. ACADEMY DINING HALL - DAY

Jason and Iolaus sit droopy and half-asleep before bowls of oatmeal. Students are eating at tables around them.

IOLAUS
Why does Cheiron think everybody should eat oats?
JASON
It's a Centaur thing.

Hercules sits across the table from them, devouring the last of his bowl of oatmeal.

HERCULES
Are you gonna eat that?

He scoops up a huge dollop of oatmeal from Iolaus' bowl -- with his hand - and dumps it into his bowl. Then he starts gulping it down.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. ACADEMY TRAINING HALL - DAY

Hercules works out with padded spears with Jason and Iolaus, doing a half-speed drill practicing defending yourself from two attackers. They go through the moves, the spears clacking together as they thrust and parry -- but suddenly Hercules attacks at full speed, sweeping Jason off his feet with a padded end of the spear then turning on Iolaus and shoving him backwards so that he falls down.

HERCULES
I win!
(a whoop of triumph)
I'm hot today!
JASON
This is a drill, Herc!
IOLAUS
We're supposed to be going at half speed!
HERCULES
Half speed is boring. This whole academy is boring!

Hercules throws his spear at a wooden fight dummy. The spear hits the dummy's shield and makes the dummy spin around. Laughing, Hercules scoops up a dipper of water from a water jar and gulps a drink -- but spews it out again, as if it tasted terrible. Jason and Iolaus come over as Hercules throws the dipper away.

IOLAUS
Hercules.

Hercules stalks out, ignoring him. Lilith joins them.

LILITH
What's wrong with Hercules? His bunk caught on fire this morning.
IOLAUS
There's been something weird going on with him ever since he came back from helping Hephaestus.
JASON
It's time Herc told us what it is. Come on.

They head outside.

INT ACADEMY STABLE - DAY

Hercules is trying to get a horse from its stall, but the horse is shying away from him, neighing and snorting wildly.

JASON
What's he so afraid of, Hercules?

Hercules turns and sees Jason, Iolaus, and Lilith in the stable door.

JASON
There's something wrong with you -- that horse can sense it.
HERCULES
I'll walk.

Hercules starts for the door. Jason, Iolaus, and Lilith spread out, blocking his way,

IOLAUS
You're not yourself anymore, Herc.
HERCULES
I'm the son of Zeus -- that's who I am! And I'm through wasting my time in the academy! I want to set the world on fire!

He starts past them. Jason puts a restraining hand on his shoulder --

JASON
Hercules --

-- but jerks it away with a yelp of pain. As Hercules walks on, Iolaus jumps on his back.

IOLAUS
Let's discuss this like responsible --

But he too has to let go and jump back with a yelp of pain. Iolaus's clothes are smoldering.

IOLAUS
It's like he's on fire!
JASON
We have to stop him!

Jason grabs a horse blanket and wraps it around his arm. Lilith grabs a rope and lassoes Hercules as he reaches the door. Hercules looks back at her. Flames appear where the rope touches his body, then run down the rope toward Lilith. She lets go, as the rope disintegrates into ashes. Iolaus grabs a staff and blocks Hercules' way.

IOLAUS
This is for your own good.

Iolaus swings the staff. Hercules catches it in his hand. Flames run from Hercules' hand down the staff, forcing Iolaus to let go. Hercules tosses the staff aside. Jason steps up and tries to punch Hercules with his blanket-wrapped hand. Hercules deflects the punch, and the blanket bursts into flames. Jason puts his arm in a watering trough, extinguishing the flames. Lilith puts a rolling tackle on Hercules, knocking him off his feet. Iolaus grabs a chain.

IOLAUS
This won't burn!

He tries to wrap the chain around Hercules' ankle. Hercules grabs the chain and jerks Iolaus off his feet. Hercules leaps up, tosses the chain out the stable door, and stands over Iolaus with his fist raised. Fire blazes in Hercules' eyes: he seems completely demented.

HERCULES
Let's really have some fun!

Hercules' fist erupts into flames. He pushes his flaming fist toward Iolaus.

LILITH
No, Hercules! He's your friend!

Hercules pauses. The read gleam in his eyes flickers, and for a moment he's almost normal.

HERCULES
Iolaus...

Hercules looks at his fist, and the flames die.

HERCULES
Stay away from me! All of you!

Hercules runs out of the stable.

EXT CHEIRON'S ACADEMY - DAY

Jason, Iolaus, and Lilith run out of the stable. Hercules has disappeared.

JASON
Last night he wanted to go back to Corinth. If that's where he's heading, then maybe we can catch him.
IOLAUS
And do what? Let him turn us into toast?
LILITH
You said he was okay till he was with Hephaestus. Maybe he can tell us what's wrong with Hercules.
JASON
It's worth a try -- if we can reach him.
(calling)
IOLAUS
Hephaestus! We need you!

Hephaestus appears beside them, holding his hammer. He's a bit annoyed.

HEPHAESTUS
Why does somebody always call when you're in the middle of something?
JASON
We need your help, Hephaestus. There's something wrong with Hercules.
HEPHAESTUS
He was all right yesterday.
(frowning)
Sure left in a hurry, though. Didn't say good-bye...
JASON
Did something happen while he was with you? Something that could've changed him?
IOLAUS
It's like there's a fire inside him.
HEPHAESTUS
(worried)
No -- he wouldn't be that reckless...
JASON
What?
HEPHAESTUS
The fire from the forge where we were working. The gods can use it to change their hearts -- but Hercules is half-mortal.
LILITH
What would it do to him?
HEPHAESTUS
It would change him too, for a while. Then it would burn him to ashes.

Jason, Iolaus, and Lilith look at each other.

JASON
We've got to put that fire out!
HEPHAESTUS
We need water -- a lot of it.

Jason grabs the chain that Iolaus tried to use in the fight with Hercules.

JASON
The road to Corinth goes past the lake. Come on!

He takes off running. Iolaus and Lilith start after him.

EXT. LAKE - DAY

Hercules walks rapidly along the path by the lake shore. Hephaestus appears in front of him, with his hammer in his hand.

HEPHAESTUS
I need some help, Hercules. There's work to be done.
HERCULES
No work for me! Just play!

A ball of flames appears in Hercules' hand.

HERCULES
How about a game of catch?

He hurls the ball of fire at Hephaestus. Hephaestus hits the ball with his hammer, and it shatters into sparks.

HERCULES
I'm like Zeus now! I've got a fire inside me!

Iolaus, Lilith, and Jason are slipping up behind Hercules, carrying the chain.

JASON
(quietly)
We'll have to drag him into the water.

Hercules suddenly turns and waves his hand, and a wall of flames appears between him and Jason.

HERCULES
It won't work, Jason!

They drop the chain and stagger back.

IOLAUS
The fire's burning you up, Herc!
LILITH
You've got to fight it!
HERCULES
I don't want to fight it! It feels good!
JASON
(quietly, to Iolaus)
Pretend you can't swim.
IOLAUS
What?

Jason shoves Iolaus into the lake. Splash.

LILITH
What are you doing, Jason?!
JASON
Iolaus is his friend!

Iolaus thrashes in the water.

IOLAUS
Help! I can't swim!

Lilith starts toward the water, but Jason holds her back.

JASON
(sotto, to Lilith)
No! Hercules has to save him!

Jason falls to the ground, holding his ankle.

JASON
Ow! My ankle!

The wall of flames disappears as Hercules takes a hesitant step toward the lake.

HERCULES
Iolaus!

Hercules is fighting with himself: He grimaces and looks down at the water.

HERCULES
I can't. It would put out the fire.
JASON
Fight it, Hercules! Don't let the fire win!

Hercules stares at his fiery hands. He starts to shake, fighting the power inside him.

HERCULES
I... can't...

In the lake, Iolaus struggles and thrashes hard.

IOLAUS
(COUGHS, SPLUTTERS)
Somebody help me!

Jason looks up from holding his "twisted" ankle.

JASON
(to himself; impressed)
He's good!

CLOSE ON HERC, grimacing, eyes squeezes shut, squirming as he fights the fire inside him.

HERCULES
I can't! I can't!

A beat, then he calms. He opens his eyes and we see the gleam of fire in Herc's eyes fade away. With a determined look, he runs to the water and dives in. Hephaestus limps over to Jason and Lilith as they all watch anxiously. Jason scrambles back to his feet, ankle fine.

HEPHAESTUS
You knew Hercules would save him.
JASON
Even the fire couldn't change him that much.

Hercules drags Iolaus out of the water. Jason and Lilith wade into the water and help Hercules and Iolaus out. Iolaus is coughing and spluttering.

HERCULES
Why did you push Iolaus into the water? He could've drowned!
LILITH
That sounds like the old Hercules.
JASON
Iolaus was just pretending he couldn't swim.
IOLAUS
Pretending nothing! I can't swim!
JASON
Oops.

Hephaestus steps up to Herc (hand on his shoulder?)

HEPHAESTUS
I'm happy you're safe, brother. You can't be what you are not. Even Zeus wouldn't want you to be.

He walks a few steps away from the group, then looks back at Hercules.

HEPHAESTUS
Now I have to go. I left something boiling on the forge.

Hephaestus disappears. Hercules burps, hugely -- and groans.

HERCULES
I feel like I ate an ox.
JASON
You did.

Jason, Lilith, Iolaus, and Herc start back into the distance, as:

HERCULES
Now wait a minute...
JASON
I was there --
(shakes his head; grim)
-- let me tell you, it wasn't pretty...

FADE OUT.

THE END